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Mutual masturbation and HIV

I'm only into mutual j/o and although this is a fairly safe activity I have read some of your answered questions which points out it is even possible to get HIV from this activity.

Is it very safe to jack each other with our hands only and while covered in soap while in the shower? And is it even safer to do so while playing in the ocean? I assume salty sea water kills most STD and HIV virus?

You need to stop worrying. It is almost impossible to catch HIV from masturbation unless your partner ejaculates into an open wound or your mouth! Soap can be very irritating so don't use it unless it is for pleasure and not to try and prevent infection.

Is sharing a dildo safe?

Recently my boyfriend and I were getting ready to have anal intercourse. Since I usually bottom, I have become accustomed to using a dildo to make sure my anus isn't too tight.

While using my dildo, I had a bowel movement and a lot of the contents got on my dildo. I carefully got up and went to find some paper towels and cleaner to wipe off the dildo.

When I got back into the bedroom my boyfriend was laying there penetrating himself with the dirty dildo. While the scene turned me on, I wonder how safe it was for him to do that. We're both HIV, Hep C and STD free so I know that isn't the issue, my question is how safe was it for him to use my dildo?

This is an excellent question. Feces are full of bacteria and although you may wipe or wash a dildo after use, even if it doesn't have visible residue on it, there are always bacteria there.

Dildos can transmit STD's between partners including gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, HPV, HIV and Chlamydia. They can also transmit hepatitis and parasites. If you are both free of these infections then there is very little risk that he harmed himself. That said, if you are going to share dildos then you should cover them with condoms unless you are monogamous and having unprotected sex. Good luck.

Confidentiality and HIV testing...

If I go to a public clinic with my boyfriend for HIV tests at the same time, how does his affect the confidentiality or privacy of the results?

If you go to a testing site together, you are still seen separately. A counselor should talk to you individually unless you specifically ask that your friend be in the room with you. The same should occur when you go for the test results - they should speak to you alone unless you want your friend there with you.

When you go to the testing site you specifically say that you want to go in alone. Then it becomes your choice whether to discuss the results with your friend. The clinician will not discuss your results with anyone unless you tell them to. Everything should be confidential.

If you are under 18 please ask the testing site whether or not your state notifies your parents. In New York State and many others your test results are strictly confidential and not discussed with even your parents. Thanks for your excellent question.